iDiscuss
by Nature9000
Summary: A request from a begging friend. Sam, Freddie and friends discuss their fanfiction memories, bad to good.


iDiscuss

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

A/N: This is supposed to be strictly humorous, and yes it is a Crack Fic. It'll be out of character as well. Anyway, someone begged me to have my characters discuss their stories as a milestone…I didn't want to, but I caved. So here, read and enjoy.

-THE WRITERS TALK-

Freddie, Sam, Jonah, Valerie, Jake, Carly, Gibby, Rueben, and Shane all sat around an oval like table. They were discussing the stories and reviews on the stories they had been working so hard to write. In some cases, it looked like people didn't appreciate, but mostly they did.

"Look at that one, boss," Gibby said while pointing to a review. Freddie looked at the anonymous review and his eye twitched with anger.

_Okay. So I read two of your stories and I liked them. Then I read two more. And then two more. And two more. Bottom line: They all have the same plot! Honestly! 1. Sam and Freddie are best friends who are secretly in love with each other. 2. Sam is kidnapped by someone from the series who is seriously OOC 3. Sam is tortured/raped/abused in some way 4. Freddie saves Sam and they kiss passionately. Also, you can't take a character from the series and morph them into some psychotic person just to fulfill your plot needs. Does Gibby really seem like the type of person who would ever stab someone? No._

"So, what are they saying?" Sam asked while raising her eyebrow. She crossed her arms and growled. "Let's get one thing straight the PLOTS are different! The story situations may be similar. There's a plot about a school shooting and a plot about…say…a babysitting problem. They're two separate plots! Get that through your heads, people."

"Sam, relax," Freddie said while rubbing his forehead. "Okay, another thing, no we are not secretly in love with each other. Secretly in love with with each other would probably be the story Greatest Secret, which has nothing to do with your 'plots' so to speak. Also, we don't do rape stories! We never have."

"Well actually…"

"One time!"

"Also, yes, you can make a character evil, if they have a valid reason," Gibby said while tapping his fingers on the table. "Such as, if they are sick and tired of being pushed around, they're going to do something about it! It's called FANFICTION."

"Here's something I'm sick of," Carly said while leaning back in her chair. "I'm sick of all the issues with me being made to look bad. Get over it. We don't intend to write it like that, if it comes out that way, oh well." Carly looked over at Sam and smirked. "Hey Sam, guess what!"

"What is it?" Sam asked while leaning back in her chair.

"You're ugly!" Sam's jaw dropped and Carly gasped. "Oh dear, I just insulted Sam! Quick! Flame us with constant 'Carly looks bad' statements! Real mature…real constructive…It's about as helpful to us as the Gibby is mean statement."

"Hey, we just so happen to know that OCs are not popular," Gibby said while leaning back and placing his hands behind his head. "So, what does that mean? Well, simply it means improvising."

"Look at this, we change our stuff around, it helps," Freddie said while tapping a pen on the table. "Proof of Toughness was actually written because someone complained about how we wrote our stories. Wait, what the hell! They complained about how _we_ wrote _our_ stories. What? If you don't like how we're writing them, then how about they write it themselves!"

"That doesn't sound too bad," Jake remarked. "After all, if you don't like how we're writing, then okay…we may take offense to that, but oh well."

"Not only that, but even when we wrote Proof of Toughness in order to get away from the whole me being kidnapped thing, it still didn't help," Sam said while giving a slight sigh. "People still complained."

"Well, you can't please everyone," Valerie said while standing up and walking to a board. "Face it; we have a _lot_ of good reviews and reviewers! They're all great people, and we love every one of them!"

"Yes, that's true," Jonah replied. Freddie nodded and gave a slight grumble.

"Yeah, but the ones that don't give any constructive criticism and just straight out flaming are the ones that linger," Freddie said quietly.

"Well boss, how else are you going to look at it?" Shane asked as he gave a shrug. "You can't please everyone, so just worry about the ones you want to please. Write how you want to write, there are people that will love the stories, there always are. Hell, think of the very first story you ever wrote in this."

"Actually the first iCarly story we wrote wasn't in the iCarly section," Freddie said while picking up a clipboard. "It was a crossover with Hannah Montana and that's the category it was in. It was called Ghostly Week."

"Oh god I hated that one," Jonah said with a cringe. Freddie laughed and Jonah shook more. "I swear, I think I got sliced or something, I don't know!"

"Well personally, I loved every minute of it!"

"You would! You got to kiss a sleeping beauty!" Freddie gave another laugh and Sam rolled her eyes.

"Come to think of it, I was out of the body for a week," Sam said as she narrowed her eyes. "How do you think that makes me feel! I felt like I was going die…I think I _was_ dead for a week! Now the one I enjoyed was A Royal Pain!"

"Hah, I got to be a king," Freddie said while smirking. He wrapped his arm around Sam's waist and grinned. "I also got a beautiful young vixen as well." Sam rolled her eyes and flicked Freddie on the nose. "Hey!"

"You're just lucky. That was the first pure iCarly story we wrote, right? So many people liked it."

"Yeah, but it wasn't my favorite," Carly stated as she walked over to the refrigerator. She opened the door and looked over. "Does anyone want any sodas or anything?" Everyone shook their heads and Carly pulled out a single soda for herself. She opened it and took a sip. "After all, I was smitten with Freddie because he became royalty. I'd also like to point out that none of our full stories are like our oneshots."

"Yes, that's true. Oh! Remember Eternal Love and Bringing Them Back?" Carly chuckled and nodded her head.

"Great stories, despite one of them being a tragedy…"

"I wasn't happy," Valerie said as she crossed her arms and tilted her head. "After all, I killed Sam!"

"You didn't kill me," Sam said while giving a slight chuckle. She walked over to her friend and patted her on the back. "It was your friend that did it. You merely instigated it." She smirked and Valerie narrowed her eyes.

"I feel _so_ much better now."

"Hey, be happy you weren't a bad guy," Jonah said in a quick voice. He remembered the stories where he was a villain, he hated them all. "Like Best Friend's Greed…I can't believe it! I'm Freddie's best friend, usually!"

"Not in that you weren't," Jake responded. He had a smirk plastered onto his face, Jonah frowned and glared at him.

"Yeah, whatever…I still hate it!"

"I liked it."

"That was because you were a good guy!" Jake laughed and Shane crossed his arms over.

"Beats being a romantic rival," Shane replied. "Much less someone described as a 'streetwise bad boy' which isn't technically evil, but still bad."

"Yeah, you're _Baaaaaad _to the bone!" Shane rolled his eyes and the others all laughed at the comment. "Of course, we all have to remember who our favorite little pudgy villain is." Gibby raised his eyebrow as Jake pinched his cheek. "Who's the widdle villain?"

"Keep that up, and I'm going to sock you right in the face," Gibby said while giving a threatening growl. "I think we've all been bad at least once."

"I haven't." Everyone raised their eyebrows and stared at Jake, they were sure he had been bad somewhere. He blinked and shrugged his shoulders. "At least I can't think of any stories we wrote where I'm bad."

"Try Competition," Valerie said in a quick voice. "You and Freddie vie over Sam. Actually, I think I'm the only one here, along with Carly, who hasn't really been bad."

"Yeah, although Freddie is considering a story where I'm evil," Carly said in a quiet voice. "Apparently I go ballistic when my beloved boyfriend dies and become obsessed with the next guy I see, which happens to be Freddie."

"Yeah, and I'm obsessed with Sam," Jonah added while rolling his eyes. Carly nodded and tapped her foot on the ground.

"Well, I kill Sam, and Jonah kills Freddie. The real part of the story is that Sam and Freddie have two kids that never met their parents, because we killed them. The kids go back in time to see their parents and bring it upon themselves to save their lives. That is an old idea, why has it not been written?"

"I don't like the idea," Freddie remarked. He waved his hand through the air and glanced down at the paper. "I think it's a fairly dumb idea, to be honest. However, if there is anyone that would like it, then let us know."

"What was it that inspired Paternal Bonds again?" Sam asked while glancing over at Freddie. "I think that was one of the best as far as readers went."

"What inspired that was the story about a man in some other country that had his daughter imprisoned for several years in some dungeon like place. I liked the story because everyone came together for a common good."

"I was evil in that, wasn't I?" Gibby asked in a deadpan tone of voice. "Why the hell was I evil, again?"

"Hey, I've been evil once," Rueben said with a slight chuckle. "Well, not evil, but just bad and jealous. "However, Proof of Toughness was a story written out of spite and anger…it's also the one that has more people complaining."

"I hate that story with a passion, actually," Sam said in a quiet voice. "I mean, it just wasn't so fun to write. We had some moron say it sounded like a goddamn how to book! What the hell!"

"I know, that one was annoying. Just think of all the people that liked it, though!"

"Yeah, that's great." Sam smiled and nodded, she loved the ones who loved the stories. "Another one we wrote that is kind of hard is Carpe Diem. Freddie's having a bit of writers block on that, right?"

"Yes," Freddie replied. He chewed slightly on the eraser of his pencil and wrote something down on paper. "Having trouble there, but we're getting good on it. College is starting to get in the way, though."

"Yeah that's true, we're not doing so hot, so we can't update as fast. Yet, we're going as fast as we can! Oh! Remember Camp Hell!"

"That was a great one," Carly said while grinning widely. "Did you see how good I was there? I'm telling you, I kicked major tail. Too bad action doesn't get a lot of attention, we'll have to move over to romance and drama."

"Yeah, so I'm the romantic rival," Shane said while giving a slight sigh. "Do I have to be?" Sam smirked and nodded her head, he was the best shot at it. Shane rolled his eyes and groaned. "Such hard work."

"You'll live, Shane," Freddie said as he wrote down on the paper. "I'm busy writing thank you notes to all the reviewers that have done well to us. Who is one to mention?"

"First one that comes to mind is Colorsofthesky101," Sam said while tapping her chin. "Do we want to thank them individually, or all at once?"

"All at once, give me names."

"Let's see, in order of how they're coming to mind, I'll say Colorsofthesky101, Takjimcin5, Mewnacho, Foshizzle, iCarlyonlybaby21, Venus Hurricane, Writing Sia-"

"Actually she's changed her name," Carly said in a quick voice. "I believe it is Sydney Will Rock Her World!" Sam nodded and continued.

"Thanks Carly. Boris Yeltsin, he gives some good story ideas, but sometimes we don't know how to write them…sadly. XScribbles819, shoopshoop, sharkofthemist120, and Daseyfan2008 come to mind."

"Well, that's a nice number," Jonah said while smiling lightly. "Of course, there are a _lot_ more reviewers!"

"Yes, and we want to extend a thank you to all of the ones we mentioned and the ones who may have slipped our mind," Freddie said in a quick voice, smiling kindly. "We thank you for your support! We wouldn't be writing if it wasn't for you! We hope to see more reviews from you as time goes on."

"Hey Freddie, shouldn't we mention someone else?" Sam asked as she nudged his side. "What about the anonymous one, Kate K." Freddie narrowed his eyes and stared at Sam with a slightly perturbed look.

"Well…I don't see why not. She's the one who left the review we just discussed above, but she has recently admitted that she does enjoy our stories. We're glad that you enjoy the stories, Kate. We hope you'll read them more often."

"You know, we should take requests," Jake said while clearing his throat. "I mean, sure we sort of do…"

"We'll see what happens there, Jake."

"You ever wonder what happened to Celts8?" Freddie laughed and shook his head.

"No, personally that guy was never pleased with our stories and just brought my mood down. Hell, we almost went into a writing slip one time because he didn't like how we wrote our stuff."

"Good point. So, when it comes to favorites, what is the favorite story that everyone has?" Everyone thought for a moment and stared into space, not paying attention to their surroundings.

"I really like them all," Sam said in a careful voice. "If I had to choose one, I'd say either Camp Hell or Sam's Dark Past. I liked Sam's Dark Past because it portrayed me where my actress played in CSI. Now if you were to ask which one I disliked the most, I would say Proof of Toughness because more people, including that maestro person disliked it."

"Do NOT mention Maestro of End's name!" Freddie snapped as he slammed his hand on the table. "That person thinks he's better than everyone else, it says so in his profile. Every review from him is a flame that makes me regret writing. We've almost slipped into a writing depression because of his reviews. Had it not been for the good reviews, that guy would have ended our writing career right there!" Everyone stared at Freddie in shock and waited for him to calm down. He sighed and slowly sat back in his seat. "Sorry about that. It's just that the guy butchered that story and insulted our writing. I find it very offensive."

"Again, can't please everyone," Jonah stated. Freddie nodded and Jonah tapped his chin lightly and grinned. "Okay, so my favorite story would have to be Second Chance, because it happens to be a good one…well, maybe Greatest Secret, but really no one will know why for a little while. My least favorite was Best Friend's Greed…"

"Only because you were evil," Jake said while smirking. "Hah! You're evil! That's something I'm going to love."

"Shut up."

"Sorry. So my favorite is actually A Best Friend's Greed, because I liked the whole friendship thing. My least favorite was Competition, Freddie hits like a brick!" Everyone laughed at the statement and Freddie rubbed his cheek in remembrance. "Ouch. Maestro also reviewed that and said it was stupid and highly unrealistic." Freddie huffed and glared at Jake, causing him to quickly silence. "Sorry."

"Well my favorite story would have to be True Friends," Carly said while smiling at everyone. "Okay, that sounded wrong, but still. I like it because it shows that despite the fact that I appear vain to some people, I am still a true friend. I don't know what my least is…For one thing, I'm a good guy in all of them. My least is Eternal Love, I lose both my best friends in it."

"Yeah, that was a sad story," Valerie said while wiping a tear away. "That was my least favorite one. My favorite, however, is Greatest Secret. Since we're still going on that, I don't want to give anything away, but I still love it!"

"I'll admit that while I liked Proof of Toughness, I still hated it with a passion," Rueben said as he picked up a chicken leg and bet into it. "It was like my debut story, but I didn't like it because there were people who didn't like it. My favorite story has to be Winning His Heart, and I think it's clear why I like it."

"Yeah, clear enough," Gibby replied. He crossed his arms and hummed lightly, thinking of his favorites. "I'd say my all time favorite was Paternal Bonds, I thought it was nicely written, and a lot of people enjoyed it. My least was probably Terror at the School, it just seemed a bit boring to me."

"My personal favorite was Remembering," Freddie said as he continued to write on the paper. "It was simply because that story was a dedication to the memories that Nature had before his mom and brother died. It was very somber. I think my least favorite story was actually Cursed, because not many people read it or liked it that much. It was a slow story to write and I just wanted to get it done."

"I think we've all had our say," Sam said as she walked toward the window. "One thing that irks me was the perfect names we had for our parents, but then people started using them, it made it awkward."

"Henry was the _best_ damn name for Mr. Benson," Carly said as she crossed her arms. "Then some people started using his name _and_ his occupation, it felt weird! We had to change it…now it is John Benson, and it still doesn't hold a good ring to it. The same thing happened to Amy Puckett, and Della Benson. So now we changed it to Sarah Puckett and Emily Benson."

"We can't use Emily anymore," Freddie pointed out. "We've figured out that her name was actually Marissa, so that's what it has to be."

"Hey, I don't have to be evil ever again, do I?" Jonah asked as he tilted his head to the side.

"Only if you tick me off…" Freddie smirked and Jonah paled slightly. "Don't worry about it, Jonah. We always have the fat kid over there."

"Hey!" Gibby shouted in an offended tone of voice. "I am _not_ fat!"

"You're right! You're _pudgy_!"

"Damn it!"

"You're like the Pillsbury Dough Boy!"

"Damn you! Damn you to hell!" Freddie laughed and Gibby started walking toward a door. "I'm out of here!"

"Uh, Gibby…" Gibby opened the door and stepped out, he blinked and then let a scream out. "That door leads directly to the outside, and we're a few stories up from the ground…"

"Damn it!"

"You want me to sprout wings and catch him?" Jonah asked while giving off a slight laugh. "God I hate those wings."

"You made a perfectly evil beast and you know it," Valerie said as she walked over to Jonah and kissed his cheek. "Too bad it had to be you, I would have liked to date you in that story, but it would have been bad to do so."

"Yeah, thanks…" Rueben stood up and walked toward where Gibby left, he looked out and raised his eyebrow.

"Hey guys, I don't see Gibby anywhere," Rueben stated.

"Maybe you should take a closer look," Shane suggested. Rueben nodded and started to lean forward, hoping to catch a glimpse of Gibby. "That's not exactly what I me-" Rueben leaned too far and soon found himself falling out of the window, screaming loudly. Shane sighed and stood up from his seat. "I'll check on the nimrods."

"You do that, Shane," Freddie said as he tossed his pencil in the trash and pulled a pen from the table drawer. "Tell them to meet back here tomorrow and help with writing the stories." Shane nodded and left the room through the good door.

"Sometimes I worry about those guys," Sam said as she leaned onto Freddie's shoulders. "What else is there? We've thanked the reviewers, we've discussed our stories, and now what?"

"Well, there's that oneshot coming up that they'll want to look out for. I think it's The Last One….no wait…it's Surviving the War, they'll love it, or at least they'll enjoy it."

"Another milestone fiction will be coming out soon as well. Is there anything else?"

"Nothing I can think of, my love."

"Oh shut up." Sam blinked and looked straight ahead, remembering something. "Did you know that the breast cancer organization is having a thing tomorrow were people get to decorate boob cookies?"

"Boob cookies?" Freddie raised his eyebrow and Sam nodded.

"Yeah, it's funny, right? I mean who would have thought of it!"

"Personally Sam, I'd _love_ to see your boob cookies." Freddie smirked and the others all laughed as Sam quickly slapped the back of Freddie's head. "I'm just saying!"

"Shut up, moron!"

"You know you love me. You can't get enough of me, me and my socks only form." Freddie smirked and Sam blushed, growling slightly.

"Oh yeah? Well too bad, cause you still wore socks which only made you dork-"

"I only needed to wear them because I cut my foot and didn't need blood on the sheets."

"Damn it!"

"I bet you'd love to know just how big I _really_ am." Sam blushed and quickly shook her head.

"Shut up!"

"Okay, before you two get too out of it, let's wrap this up," Valerie said with a nervous chuckle. Jonah nodded and quickly hurried over to his friend.

"Freddie, maybe you're hanging out with the pervert too often," Jonah said while glancing over at Jake. Jake raised his eyebrow and put on a mock hurt look.

"I am no pervert!" Jake said in a quick voice. "I just happen to like looking at the ladies. In fact, those boob cookies are sounding _pretty_ good right now." Jonah and Valerie narrowed their eyes and sighed.

"That's what I was talking about…pervert."

"Yeah, well you're too serious!"

"Would you boys kindly shut up?" Carly asked while slowly shaking her head. "Where is Spencer, anyway?" Jake sighed and shook his head as he left the room, he was getting too tired.

"He's at home, sleeping," Sam replied. "Like we should be doing."

"Yeah, I think I better get going before I fall asleep and pass out on the-" Carly yawned and fell back on the floor, sleeping. The others stared at her with raised eyebrows.

"Maybe we should leave her there," Freddie said while giving a smirk.

"Why? What benefit would that be?" Sam asked.

"I really want to do something else." Freddie's smirk grew and Sam raised her eyebrow. He then placed his hands on Sam's waist and lifted her up, sitting her on the table and kissing her lips passionately. Jonah and Valerie watched as the couple started to remove the outer shirts.

"Let's go," Valerie said as she moved to Carly.

"Yes, let's do that," Jonah replied. They picked up Carly and quickly carried her out of the room, leaving Sam and Freddie to themselves. They would start working on the stories later, but right now they needed rest. Of course, they still thanked all their reviewers for being such good readers. What the reviewers didn't know was they saved the writer from downward spirals caused by the completely negative reviews. Of course, constructive criticism isn't negative at all. Here's where they hoped that the reviewers would love the ongoing and upcoming stories. They knew they were going to have some great ones coming and more great memories.

* * *

Well, heh, I hope you liked that. Um, thank you once more for all the reviews you guys have given me over time. Again, this adorable insanity was suggested by a friend who begged me to do this. I leave you with that, and now continue to your regular viewing of my regularly updated stories!


End file.
